Highs and Lows. My Annual Birthday Retrospective.

2020 has been… well, you know. No sense in rehashing it.

But here are a few of my highs and lows. For posterity? For my mental health? /shrug. Maybe if I write them down, I can start thinking about other things.

High: Celebrating SaraKate’s 40th birthday in January. A girls trip where I bonded, learned about Bunco, and felt loved and supported by new(ish) friends who have become some of my most counted upon people.

Low: Watching the end of Supernatural without Mark. He is the reason I started watching it and it was one of those things we could talk about for hours, HOURS. So many theories and speculations…. The fact that he died before getting to see the end, especially considering what happened at the end, is just, well, heartbreaking. I missed him so much during that last episode and really wish I believed in a higher power and heaven. 

High: Biden won the presidency. He did. Yes, he did. Thank all the stars and cookies in the ‘verse, he did. 

Low: Seeing the end of family traditions. Some are hopefully just skipped for the year… but others are probably gone for good such as the Metcalfe cousin gift exchange. For years… like, almost forty years, there has been a cousin gift exchange for the Metcalfe kiddos. My mom started it, I continued it, and it was -at its heyday- a magical wonderful thing. But the last few years the energy of my fellow participants just wasn’t there as much and it was legit like pulling teeth to get people to participate. This year I did the overture and when the response was lackluster (to put it generously) I decided to not guilt, nag, and bully people into it and to accept that it was a part of our past and let it go. 

High: Ella. My kid is… amazing. She adapted to school at home, summer at home, holidays at home, everything AT HOME, with grace and understanding that I envy. She has thrived in school, maintained her cheery disposition, and done amazing and wonderful things for her friends and family. This year she learned how to cook her own egg, ride a bike (sort of), and took on more chores. She constantly amazes me with her insights and the connections she makes while interacting with media. She is, by far, the best part of my life. Also, we just found out that she needs glasses so pretty soon my min-me will be even more of my mini-me 🙂 

Low: All the death. So much. Covid, parents of friends, cancer, suicide,… just. A lot of death this year.

High: Friendships. Made it through this year with more friends than I started with and with deeper relationships than I had a year ago. 

Low: There are some health concerns in our family that I am concerned about. 

High: Podcasts! My Pages and Popcorn Podcast has over 40 episodes now and turned 2 years old. This is super impressive (to me) considering how much of the past year I have spent not being able to read due to eye issues! Also, Matthew started a podcast (with the help of his lovely producer wife) and I am super into helping him. Copyediting is fun, audio editing is fun, even doing his show notes is fun! Yay podcasts!

Mixed/High: Eyes. There were some bumpy parts of the year to be sure but the surgery seems to be working and I can still see. I’m counting this as a blessing.

Mixed/High: My birthday. Turning 40 was always going to be hard. Turning 40 this year was… very hard. And yet. I have a wonderful life partner, decent health, fun hobbies, warm socks, and we were able to hit some financial goals this year. I am not where I thought I would be at 40. In some ways, I am much further ahead… in others much further back. Adulting seems to be accepting the limitations of the closed doors and enjoying the rooms that you are in. 

As we head into the final month of the year, I hope your adapted holiday season is more high than low and that the covid numbers go low not high.

Happy birthday to me 🙂

Published by kayliametcalfe

Queer,loudmouth,skeptical-agnostic-pagan,book addict,coffee lover,wine drinker, SAHM,writer,editor,producer,podcaster. -She/her

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