I came out to my grandmother today.
Let me be clear. I am out, and loudly so, in many places. I strive to challenge the automatice default assumption of straightness that my marriage to a man illicits.
In many places.
In most places.
But my grandmother… it never seemed relevant or necessary.
At least that is what I told myself
Today though… today she railed against the Supreme Court. She talked about Biblical marriage. She talked about the persecution of Christians. She talked about the unfairness of people having to be treated the same.
She said that homosexuals didn’t deserve marriage because they weren’t able to love the right way.
Today, it got relevant.
And so today I spoke up. I spoke passionately. I refused to back down. I challenged her assumptions. And then I challenged them again. I went toe to toe regarding the Bible, the job of the government, the persecution, or lack thereof, of Christians in the US.
And I told her that I am bi. That I love men and women, that I have dated men and women, and that I could have just as easily wanted to marry a woman.
And that I am fully capable of love. And that I, and all the homosexuals, deserve equality.
It was… not the conversation I thought I would be having on my walk to Panera.
Over the past few years I have heard a lot of people talk about the one on one conversations that change people’s minds. I don’t know if this conversation did more harm than good… but I can’t really feel too guilty about speaking up. It was time.
I’m pretty sure that I am out to everyone now.
I’m very lucky that I was not in danger while coming out. I am lucky that my coming out has almost always ended well. I am lucky that even when she refused to talk about this anymore, my grandmother told me that she loved me.
I take none of that for granted.