Elf on the What Now?

Elf On The Shelf.

If you are lucky enough to not know what this is, let me edify you.

See, in order to bribe/threaten your kids into being good… you stick this creepy adorable little guy up on a shelf in your home and tell your kids that he will be watching them all month and reporting their naughty or niceness to Santa who will then decide how many presents to bring them.

Do I really need to point out the creep factor of that? The “be good because you are being watched” coupled with the “be good and you get presents”… and yeah, I see an alarming similarity to religion here (“be good because you are being watched” and “be good and then you get to go to Heaven”)

Disquieting to say the very least…. but add to all that the creepy little elf who has movable arms and legs leading several people to use their imaginations for evil awesome comedic affect.


But anyway… I thought that the whole thing was behind us, at least until the holiday season comes around again. (So, you know, until September, right?)

And then I saw this.

Birthday Elf!

Now you can bribe/threaten your kids in the month leading up to their birthdays too!

Let’s just chuck parenting and teaching good behavior out the window completely shall we?

Seriously. //facedesk/

Am I a horrible person because I don’t think the emphasis during the holidays or your birthday should be all about the gifts? Am I the only one who hates the idea of these dolls as a way to get your kids to act like decent human beings? I mean, really? What sort of message are we sending?

And the doll is just creepy. It just is.


Published by kayliametcalfe

Queer,loudmouth,skeptical-agnostic-pagan,book addict,coffee lover,wine drinker, SAHM,writer,editor,producer,podcaster. -She/her

One thought on “Elf on the What Now?

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