I had a tooth removed last week and while I am getting used to the place in my mouth that feels odd and empty and recovering pretty much on schedule, there is still an aspect to the adventure that led me to one of those “I learned something useful about myself today” sort of moments.
And it was al because of the drugs.
At my pre- surgery appointment, I told my oral surgeon that I had had a bad reaction to Vicodin in the past. (Bad reaction = horrible hallucinations of violence and death that would strike while I was doing something mundane like eating a candy bar or working the cash register at the bookstore. Not fun.)
Anyway, on the morning of my surgery, I realized that they had accidentally prescribed me Vicodin. I told them and they were only too happy to call in a new prescription: Darvocet.
Here begins the lesson.
Even after Matthew went and picked up the Darvocet, no one asked for the Vicodin back. Which means that I had a full bottle of the stuff that I certainly wasn’t going to take. What does one do with a bottle of prescription pain meds? Well since I am a) a good person and b) the epitome of boring suburban middle class, I opted to recycle them back to the pharmacy.
I didn’t take them… and I didn’t sell them.
Taking them really hold no real thrall. I remember those walking nightmares. No thank you.
But selling them….
Of course I didn’t.
But the thought keeps coming back… that I could have.
Well, maybe. Honestly I don’t know the practicality of offloading drugs, having never done so in the past. In fact, I don’t even know how much they would be worth or how an enterprising individual would go about selling them.
Still, the thought lingers. It isn’t really that I want or need the money. I’m not rolling in cash, but I am not that hard up either. It isn’t that I want to spread the joy of drugs to others. It is just… that I am curious.
Curious about the details. Curious about how the whole thing would ‘go down.”
I am a writer (sometimes) and I crave experiences. Sometimes I have put myself in dangerous situations because I wanted to find out what would happen. There are many things you can imagine and gleam from good old fashioned book learning, but there are many things that I think I can only write about if I either hear about them first hand or, better yet, experience them first hand.
So, yes. I am curious.
Now, this is a small thing and I was totally honest about it. (Go me!) I’m not going to say that I think my curiosity about the drugs reeks of a slippery slope and that next month I will be more likely to take up some other sort of illicit thrill seeking activity just for the sake of doing it.
At least I hope not.
But it does make me consider other things that I have done for the sake of doing them….. it does make me pause and consider that I have, in the past, been a little too spontaneous and cavalier.
I have done some pretty stupid things. Some of them ended badly. But some of them were amazing thrilling life building never want to regret them kind of things.
So I guess I will continue to strive for the balance of allowing my curiosity to lead me to interesting places but also maintaining enough common sense to keep myself safe… and out of legal trouble.