An Adventure in Getting Dressed

Ok.. so,

Jeans: Jeans are easy. They zip in the front. It matters not if you are a guy or a girl or where the tag is. Sometimes the tag is in the back, sometimes next to the zipper… but who cares? They zip in the front.

Skirts: Skirts are a bit harder. They can zip on the side or the back. The tag can be on the side next to the zipper or in the back… or not there at all. Usually it is obvious based on the lines and the structure of the skirt if it is a side zip or a back zip. Usually.

Women’s Dress Pants: Ok, here’s where it gets tricky. The tag is next to the zipper.. the zipper… is in the front.. right? Wait… sometimes it looks like the zipper goes in the back (like a skirt) because there is a subtle difference in the amount of fabric in the front/back. Sometimes thought the difference in the fabric isn’t there… and then I have to wonder.. back like a skirt, or front like men’s pants and jeans?

And of course unlike in the photo, with the particular pair of pants I was dealing with this morning, there aren’t any pockets to give guidance.

It is moments like these… where I have put on the pants, taken them off, put them on again…. (this was after the 10 minutes trying to manage thigh high nylons and deciding that the weird little roll that happens would be too distracting at work and under pants) … it is in these moments that I doubt that I am all grown up.

Because… because despite the fact that I have an adult job doing adult things, that I pay rent and clean the cat pot and balance my checkbook and have written a book and have exciting travel pans…

…sometimes I still feel very young.

Published by kayliametcalfe

Queer,loudmouth,skeptical-agnostic-pagan,book addict,coffee lover,wine drinker, SAHM,writer,editor,producer,podcaster. -She/her

3 thoughts on “An Adventure in Getting Dressed

  1. It is good to feel young, perhaps I should wear my pants backwards on occasion to test the theory. My son has taken a liking to wearing his pants backwards and actually cheers when I tell him that it is his choice if he can wear them backwards. I guess as a 7 year old he has on concept of fit and comfort.


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