It Isn’t Paranoia If It’s Real

The shredder stopped working today. It took one sheet and then another and then another and then nothing. It has been unplugged, replugged, shaken, cleaned, shaken, cleaned, moved, and everything else I can think to do… and yet. No shredding.

Next, the copy machine got all persnickety and didn’t want to copy anything until a mysterious “feed error” was taken care of. I gave it a time out, turned it on and off a few times, opened up every conceivable door and cranny, Eventually it changed its mind and allowed me to make a few copies.

Fresh off that victory I returned to the shredder. But no dice.

Then the fax machine decided that despite all evidence to the contrary, the over was open. “Close Cover” it kept telling me. I replied with “The damn cover is already closed you stupid heap of plastic,” but in vain. So I opened the cover, closed the cover, opened the feed tray, closed the feed tray… over and over again. The infernal machine kept insisting that I needed to “Close Cover” and I kept insisting that it was already closed…. Until at last it managed to clue in, and allow me to start typing in a phone number. Half way through the faxing process, it… and I swear it snickered as it did it, suddenly stopped and declared that the cover was yet again, open.

I wanted to cry.

Or break something plastic and beepy.

Instead I took a breath, and tried again.

Eventually the faxes were sent and received.

The shredder, on the other hand, is committed to making me look silly and has shown no interest in cooperating in the slightest.

Oh the joy of office work.

I’m ready for lunch.

Published by kayliametcalfe

Queer,loudmouth,skeptical-agnostic-pagan,book addict,coffee lover,wine drinker, SAHM,writer,editor,producer,podcaster. -She/her

2 thoughts on “It Isn’t Paranoia If It’s Real

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